Midlife Mojo: Fit and Flourishing In Your 50's

The Art of No: 5 Things I Stopped Doing in My Fifties

October 04, 2023 Lisa DuPree Season 2 Episode 17
Midlife Mojo: Fit and Flourishing In Your 50's
The Art of No: 5 Things I Stopped Doing in My Fifties
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Host Lisa DuPree goes through 5 things she stopped doing in her fifties that changed her life in a big way. She explains several key changes in her routines and behaviors that significantly improved her well-being and overall quality of life in hopes it may inspire you to evaluate what shifts could allow you to thrive in midlife. These 5 things fall into the key areas that she focuses on in her coaching program to help clients be fit and flourish in their 50’s. Those areas are: eating, sleeping, moving, thinking and connecting.

Segment 1: Eating

  • Lisa shares her experience of regularly consuming processed snacks, pasta, and bread without realizing the harm it was causing her.
  • She describes the positive impact of focusing on whole foods like vegetables, fruits, beans, lentils, lean proteins, and going gluten-free, including increased energy, better sleep, improved skin, hair, and digestion.

Segment 2: Sleeping 

  • Lisa explains how, after her divorce at age 50, she realized that she slept better when she had the bed to herself.
  • She talks about how sleeping separately improved her sleep quality, reduced stress, and strengthened her relationship.

Segment 3: Moving

  • Lisa talks about the shift in her exercise routine after turning 50 by stopping so much cardio.  
  • Lisa mentions the benefits she's experienced after incorporating strength training, including more muscle mass and tone, increased metabolism, balance, and less joint pain.

Segment 4: Thinking

  • Lisa shares her experience of excessive worrying and anxiety in her 40s, particularly during perimenopause and how she worked to minimize non-productive thought patterns.
  • She explains how she began practicing mindfulness and the positive impact these practices had on her mental well-being, making her more resilient and less anxious.

Segment 5: Connecting

  • Lisa talks about her tendency to overcommit and please others, often at the expense of her own well-being.
  • She explains how she learned to say "no", set healthier boundaries around her time and energy and focus on prioritizing important relationships.

Conclusion:

  • Recap of the five key changes Lisa made in her 50s: eating gluten-free, sleeping separately, stopping doing only cardio, changing mindset to stop ruminating and overthinking, and quitting overcommitting.
  • Lisa invites listeners to reflect on these areas in their lives and make small changes to up-level health and happiness.

Thanks for listening!

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to Midlife Mojo, the podcast all about how to be fit and flourish in your 50s. Hello, hello. Welcome back to another episode of Midlife Mojo with your host, Lisa DuPree. That's me. I'm thrilled that you could join me today as I'm going to go through five things that I stopped doing in my 50s that changed my life in big ways. So we reach our 50s, we've lived a lot of life, we've developed habits and patterns that have stuck with us for years, some of which may no longer be working for us like they did in the past, and some of them they just don't support the results that we want now at this point in life. I found that by making a few key shifts in my routines and behaviors in my 50s, it really led to noticeable improvements in my well-being and overall enjoyment of T oday I'm going to share the five things that have made the biggest positive impact for me, in hopes that it can inspire you to evaluate what shifts could allow you to thrive in the stage of life. These five things fall into key areas that I focus on in my coaching programs to help clients be fit and flourish in their 50s, and those areas are eating, sleeping, moving, thinking and connecting. So those are the five areas of positive change that I'm excited to explore with you today, and I hope that you'll find a negative two of inspiration that you can apply in your own life.

Speaker 1:

Let's dive in. First up is eating. I used to regularly eat a lot of pasta, snacks, pasta and bread. These were just some of my favorite go-to foods, and I didn't really realize how much it was causing me discomfort and even harming my body. I just thought feeling bloated and tired all the time was just my lot in life. That was just how I was. I was diagnosed with IBS in my early 20s and shortly thereafter I ended up giving up dairy, and that helped tremendously, but it didn't solve all the problems. In my 40s I went and saw a gastroenterologist because my symptoms weren't just annoying anymore, they were really causing me severe discomfort and I was finding myself missing out on things because I just felt like crap all the T he doctor did a lot of testing and found out that I was sensitive to gluten. She really encouraged me to try eliminating gluten from my diet to see if it made any difference. So I stopped eating gluten. That was the first thing I stopped. I kind of learned what contained gluten sent a lot of their foods that have hidden sources of gluten, so it really took a little bit of time to figure it out. I also just began focusing on foods that were high in fiber, like vegetables, beans, fruits, lentils, lean proteins, you know, fish, chicken, plant-based meat alternatives, and making that, you know, really the bulk of my diet and not really replacing a lot of the typical kind of gluten containing foods with gluten-free alternatives, although I have started adding some of those back into my diet.

Speaker 1:

But when I made that change and I took gluten out of my diet, it didn't take long for me to notice a difference. I had more steady energy throughout the day. I slept better. I just felt healthier. I could move easily because my joints weren't kind of as achy and inflamed. My skin improved significantly by going dairy-free, and I had already been dairy-free for a while. But when I went gluten-free it really helped. I had no more dry, itchy patches and my nails and hair improved so it was no longer like they weren't really brittle or dry. And then the best thing is, I didn't have to rely on and acids and different digestive aids or have to plan to be near the bathroom at all This really made a huge difference.

Speaker 1:

I learned to cook and meal prep with different gluten-free foods, different recipes and it really helped kind of making it fun and creative. And I'm excited to say that I think I finally cracked the code on gluten-free bread. I have been practicing to get a gluten-free recipe nailed down because one of my favorite foods is like a nice crusty, warm piece of artisan bread and dipping it in olive oil with balsamic vinegar. So good, and I think I've cracked that code. Even my gluten-loving partner and my daughter love this bread. So that was the first thing that I stopped and just making changes from there.

Speaker 1:

The next thing was in the area of sleep, and I realized this might be controversial for some or just not even on the radar for some people to even contemplate. And the thing that I stopped was I stopped sleeping with my significant other. We still have an intimate relationship, but like actual, like going to bed and going to sleep, sleep and sleeping in the same bed Nope, that's what I stopped. I spent decades sleeping in the same bed as my spouse every night when I was married and it was just out of habit and also kind of the belief that that's just what was normal and if you were married, that's just what you did. So, kind of fast forward to me turning 50, turning 50 and getting divorced, I began sleeping in my own bed, in my own place, and I realized that I enjoyed having the whole bed to myself. I mean, I loved it, like really, really loved it.

Speaker 1:

When I didn't have a bed parter, I slept better and I had less stress, especially since I was kind of still going through menopause, having night sweats, kind of tossing and turning Anyway, sometimes in the middle of the night, you know, getting up, throwing covers off of you, trying to cool down. I just didn't have that stress that I had when that was kind of going on and I had a bed partner. And so for years past my current boyfriend, you know he sleeps soundly. He snores so loudly though, and he just moves around at night a lot. He's like a flopping fish. It's crazy how much he moves and still is dead asleep, but all this really just disrupted my sleep.

Speaker 1:

When we moved in together after a few years of dating, we fell back into the pattern of sleeping together because, you know, that's just what was supposed to happen. However, it made me miserable and I began resending this expectation. And I just resented it. It took me a while to really feel comfortable enough to speak up, but when we each had our own bed, like, we both slept better, we woke up more refreshed. You know, when we were in our own beds and you know it took a little bit of getting used to, but now we really enjoy our alone time at night and we each have our own sleeping schedules and our winding down routines. We still have an intimate relationship. We cuddle and connect more intentionally throughout the day and in the evenings when we're together. But I really just feel more energized, getting better sleep, which makes me overall a happier person and a better partner overall. So my chronic exhaustion, like the bags under my eyes, and, best of all, that simmering and resentment, is gone. It did take communication and focusing on creating intimacy in different ways, but sleeping separately has been so important for the health of our relationship and our mental health.

Speaker 1:

So that was number two I stopped sleeping with my partner. The next thing was I changed how I moved and I exercised. I used to do exclusively cardiovascular type exercise, aerobic type exercise like jogging, biking, group exercise classes and dance. But after turning 50, I realized I needed to change up some things, and so the third thing I stopped is I stopped doing only cardio, so I was doing pretty much just cardiovascular exercise, and I stopped that and I shifted some of that workout time that I already built into my routine and my schedule to include resistance training and weight training, and that was so I could build muscle math, mass, strength and bones, joints, those kind of things. I started working with a personal trainer once a week, focusing on all the major muscle groups, and I still work out by myself. I still work out with her as well, but I really focused on building up my back, my core, my arms and my legs and upper body. Arm days are by far my favorite.

Speaker 1:

I like to use a variety of different things like weight machines, stability balls, resistance bands, free weights, and I can say, after being consistent for two plus years, I really know that stopping doing only cardio for exercise and incorporating strength training has increased my metabolism, my sense of balance and coordination and well as well as endurance. Even as I'm getting older and well into my fifties, I feel like I'm actually able to dance more effectively because my range of motion is better, I'm stronger, more balanced, more coordination. I noticed that I was really getting a great feeling of accomplishment by being able to see progress and lifting heavier over time, and I noticed something else. It was even practical. There was this big heavy leather sectional couch I had in my house and my daughter wanted to move it into her apartment. It was just the two of us, so we ended up moving this huge, heavy beast of a couch just by ourselves, and I just I don't think I could have done this a few years ago. I just don't think so. So that was a big shift. I stopped doing only cardio and added in weight training.

Speaker 1:

So next up is a conscious and strategic change in how I was thinking. This was not easy. I think it was probably the toughest of all the five things that I'm highlighting today and it's still a work in progress. So definitely not easy, not a like quick fix, but it's well worth the effort. In my forties, and even before my four days, I had a habit of endlessly worrying about things. Like things that might go wrong. You know, things that I may have said, that I should have said differently.

Speaker 1:

My anxiety really really ramped up when peri-menopause started in my 40s and it was a bit scary. I would actually sit and ruminate and just go over and over scenarios and then assume the worst case as if it were inevitable or if it as if it had already happened. And this constant catastrophizing and the panic that it created really just led to a lot of unnecessary stress, and so I knew it was something I needed to get a handle on and A fter turning 50, I started to get more consistent, practicing mindfulness, meditation and self-compassion to help manage my anxiety. And now, when I catch myself starting to worry or catch myself starting to get back into that rumination, that catastrophizing, the overthinking, that kind of thing, I I notice I take a pause, take a couple of breaths, bring my awareness back to the present moment. I'll get up and go for a walk or listen to some uplifting kind of music, or I'll tune into an interesting podcast, or even just call somebody and just talk about whatever, to get my mind out of that more automatic thinking O ver time this has really helped rewire my brain to be more positive. I feel more balanced and I'm definitely more grateful for all the things I have in my life and I'm able to handle challenges or even just handle bad news with more resilience, instead of anxiety and rumination and overthinking and stress. Even my relationships are stronger because I'm not as anxious and in constant panic mode all the time.

Speaker 1:

So that was the fourth thing that I stopped. I stopped like endlessly worrying, ruminating, D efinitely well worth it. And that brings us to the fifth thing, and that's in the area of connection. I used to regularly accept social invitations and, being somewhat of an introvert, I felt like, you know, I had to do some of these things, and so I would accept social invitations and even offer to help friends or say that I could make myself available to help, even when I just genuinely did not want to either go out or to have, or I didn't have the bandwidth to actually like show up and assist my friends with whatever they were needed to needed.

Speaker 1:

I ended up doing these things out of what I felt as a sense of obligation and guilt and just a general desire to please others and make other people happy, and I would overextend myself, and now that I'm over 50, you know I just really decided like I cannot continue to do things in this way. So I gave myself permission to say no, and that's the fifth thing. I gave myself permission to say no, and I say no to the things I don't want to do. I say no to things that someone just expects me to do, and I say no, especially to things that people try to guilt me into when I've already said no.

Speaker 1:

I learned to set more healthy boundaries around my time and energy and I asked myself if something will nourish me or drain me before I commit. And it can go either way. I could say I was going to do something if I knew it was going to nourish me or if I knew it was going to drain me. But if I know it's something that's going to be draining, I need to make sure that I have a way to kind of recharge my batteries or I have the bandwidth to be able to to help in a way that I want to show up. I also say no to non essential events in order to prioritize self care, and this has really allowed me to focus on my most treasured relationships instead of spreading myself to thin. I take time to recharge my mental, emotional and relational batteries and I've realized that that true friends and people that care about me respect that. You know, sometimes I just can't help them, I just can't do what they want at the moment, and that has really just allowed me to feel less stressed overall, and saying no when appropriate actually makes me feel stronger and empowered and it allows me to maintain my boundaries and advocate for my personal needs.

Speaker 1:

Well, there you have it. Those are the five key areas where I made positive changes in my 50s that have improved how I eat, sleep, move, think and connect. So, to recap, I stopped eating gluten, which improved my energy digestion skin. I stopped sharing a bed with my partner and started sleeping in my own bed for better rest and rejuvenation and better energy. Third thing was I stopped doing as much cardio and incorporated strength training into my exercise routine to build muscle and support my joints. I stopped ruminating and catastrophizing as much and started practicing mindfulness to help manage anxiety and perimenopause and menopausal symptoms, and I stopped saying yes to things and people all the time just to please them or just to keep the peace. I started setting boundaries around my time to nurture my most valued relationships.

Speaker 1:

As you reflect on your own life, consider, you know, are there one to two small changes that you could make in one of these five areas, whether it be around eating, sleeping, moving, thinking or connecting? Just pick one thing to try for one to two weeks and see how you feel. It could be super simple as just turning out an invitation to go out. It could be just getting outside and walking for a few minutes a few times a week, or it could be really simple, like setting a consistent bedtime. I t doesn't have to be big, it just has to be something that you think is going to up level your overall health and well being and it's it's totally fine to start small and see if it makes a difference before you make any other changes.

Speaker 1:

I hope that these personal examples have sparked some ideas for you. Let me know. I'd love to hear from you. You can connect with me at @Lisa DuPreeC oaching on Instagram or my email is lisa@ lisa dupreecoaching. I f you make any changes, or are looking to make a positive change in your 50s, I would love to hear how it goes. I wish you all the best as you continue on your journey to increase your midlife mojo and be fit and flourishing in your 50s. Until next time, take care.

What I Stopped Eating
What I Stopped to Get Better Sleep
What Exercise I Stopped Doing
Ways of Thinking I Stopped
What I Stopped Doing to Have Better Connections with Friends and Family
Recap of 5 Things I Stopped
Next Steps