With all the media ideals and societal pressures about how we should look, it's easy to become hyper focused on our bodies and have a distorted self-image. But the truth is, our bodies are truly incredible for all the things that they allow us to experience and accomplish. Our worth and beauty go far beyond just physical appearance.
Hello. Hello. Welcome to today's episode. It's all about cultivating body positivity and self confidence in midlife. I'm so glad you could join me today as we explore practical ways for developing true body acceptance and self-confidence from within. I'll share insights from my years of experience as a health and wellness professional helping people improve their health and their relationship with their bodies.
My goal is for you to walk away with some ideas for how to shift from self-criticism to self-appreciation. Let's dive in. First, what exactly is body positivity? At its core, body positivity is about focusing less on how your body looks, and more on how it feels, and what it can do. It's based on the principles of self-love, self-worth, inclusiveness, equality, and respect for people of all shapes and sizes.
It's the belief that all bodies are good and worthy, just as they are. In a nutshell, it's the practice of accepting, appreciating, and respecting your body. Notice I said practice. It's pretty easy to define the concept of body positivity with a few words, but it's much more difficult to fully embrace it, especially if being critical of your body is something that started early in life.
For a lot of us, that's the case, and it takes practice to shift that ingrained thinking. Consider this scenario. Mary's in her late 40s, and she struggled with feeling insecure about her body for as long as she can remember, even when she was pretty slim in her 20s and 30s. Now that she's gotten older, she notices that her body is changing in ways that are a normal part of aging, but society deems to be less desirable.
Like, a little bit more fat around the midsection, a little bit more cellulite on her thighs, wrinkles, crepe-y skin.
She's constantly comparing herself to images of women in magazines and on social media. These women who seem to really defy aging. And so, when Mary looks in the mirror or sees herself in photos, she zeroes in on those imperfections and feels ashamed and defeated. She often turns down invitations to go swimming or to events where she has to wear something that might be a little bit revealing.
And when she does go to social gatherings, she's preoccupied with sucking in her stomach, adjusting her clothing, analyzing how she looks from different angles. And she's doing this instead of being fully engaged in those conversations with the people that she's with. She's also been hesitant to pursue professional goals, thinking that she doesn't look the part for certain leadership roles.
And she also downplays her accomplishments, unable to get past some of the self-criticism, despite her many talents and achievements. Mary's story hits on several detrimental things that stem from having a negative body image.
It hijacks your mental focus, for one, and steals joy from those moments. Obsessing over problem areas rather than being fully present. Negative body image can also worsen anxiety, depression, and if there's a tendency to withdraw or not be present, not accept invitations, feelings of isolation can result.
It also can lead to unhealthy diet, restrictive eating patterns, over exercising, and excessive body checking instead of practicing balanced self-care. It can diminish your accomplishments when you can't get past the self-criticism about how you look, and it can drain your confidence. So you hesitate to go after goals thinking that you don't look the part.
After all, it's pretty easy to find flaws if you zero in and nitpick your appearance. And when we get stuck in that hypercritical mindset, it robs us of experiencing life fully. Self-appreciation, though, is truly mind over matter. However, if you found yourself resonating with Mary's story and cultivating body positivity seems a bit of stretch for you at the moment, one of the things that you can do right off the bat is just begin to move toward body neutrality.
Body neutrality means moving toward a more objective, neutral relationship with your body. And that's really to say you're going away from the extremes of constant criticism or compulsive praise. The goal is to view your body as more of an instrument to live your life, rather than an object to be evaluated on its appearance.
With body neutrality, you still care for your body through healthy habits, but you aren't obsessively analyzing or monitoring it. You move through life with body confidence without making appearance your primary focus. So, for example, if someone doesn't really like the way that their thighs look, they don't like the shape or you know that there's cellulite there, they could be thinking to themselves “Oh, look at my thighs” and saying things detrimentally about them, like calling them “cottage cheese thighs”, things like that.
A way to move toward body neutrality would be to notice when those things come up and then reframe your thoughts. Something more neutral would be “My thighs are strong and they allow me to walk and climb stairs easily. They take me where I need to go each day. Yes, there's some cellulite and some softness to them, which is normal for my age. My thigh size and shape are determined by many factors outside my control. So I am going to aim to appreciate what my thighs allow me to accomplish.”
This neutral approach, you notice, focuses on the functionality of your thighs, rather than just aesthetics. It acknowledges changes that have occurred with age, but without that harsh criticism or judgment.
And there's no dwelling on comparisons to other people's thighs or cultural ideals. The goal is balanced acceptance rather than rating or judging appearance. So here are some ways to shift from body negativity to greater body neutrality. You want to focus less on dwelling on perceived flaws and judging your body, and more on listening to your body's needs. Needs for nourishment, needs for movement, needs for rest. Cultivate gratitude for all that your body does for you each day and work to release comparison and perfectionism around your looks. Surround yourself with people and messages that celebrate bodies of all shapes and sizes. Wear clothing that feels comfortable for the activities you enjoy.
And then check in with how you feel physically and emotionally, not just how you look. And then practice mindfulness to become aware of negative self-talk without judgment. Over time, these shifts help you see your body through a more neutral, balanced, and appreciative lens. Now, if you're ready to begin cultivating authentic body positivity and self-appreciation, here are some of my favorite things for you to try out.
Practice self-talk that affirms that you are more than just your body. A simple statement like, “I am more than just this body” can be super helpful and then remind yourself of your other gifts, your talents, your abilities. It can also help to create a list of all the things your body enables you to do and experience and make sure that list really is embracing the appreciation for your body.
This can be helpful to turn to whenever you're feeling self-critical. You want to surround yourself with size diversity, both in real life and on social media. And always keep in mind that Photoshop and filters distort what real bodies actually look like. Wear clothes that you feel attractive and comfortable in.
Having things that you feel comfortable in and that you enjoy wearing can really boost confidence overall. You want to focus less on scale, weight, and measurements. Pay more attention to how you feel in your body. Another thing that I like to do is if you're winding down in the evening, especially before bed, express gratitude for all the things your body does for you each day.
This practice helps cultivate a sense of appreciation and positive feeling. And then speak compassionately to yourself. If you have that inner critic, you have that self-criticism, you know, imagine if a friend spoke to you the way that you speak about your own body. More than likely, you'd probably want to avoid that person and maybe even not continue to be friends with them if they were super critical, harsh, or demeaning.
So, as you're noticing that self-talk and feeling some critical, harsh thoughts coming up, begin countering those with more supportive and kind words. Treat yourself with understanding, patience, and encouragement. Just like you would a good friend that you actually want to hang out with. It's important to counter negative thoughts with gentle and affirming language that's uplifting and empowering to you.
When you do this, you're fostering a positive relationship with yourself. Just like you would foster a friendship that you wanted to be healthy and nurturing. The goal here is really to slowly reverse the tendency to fixate on imperfections and perceived flaws and redirect that attention toward ways of thinking and feeling that honor your health and wellness.
Let's go over a couple of more in depth strategies that can improve your body image more long term. First, make self-care a priority and make that come from a place of love, not punishment. You want to do healthy behaviors because they feel good. And you deserve to feel good. Thinking about shifting how you exercise and your eating patterns from things that may be restrictive or fad dieting or extreme exercise trends to something that is more balanced, and it fits where you are in your lifestyle now.
Second, set boundaries and limits for situations that impact your mindset. And this might include social media accounts or apps, especially if they promote comparison and negative self-perception. Begin really being mindful of how the media you consume makes you feel about your body and be diligent in curating your feed.
Third, find some inner confidence boosters. And this can be, this can really be anything. It may include wearing an outfit that you really feel great in. It could be playing your favorite music, reading motivational quotes, and finding these little rituals that boost confidence can help you build that ability and shine from the inside out.
And then finally, reconnect with the capabilities of your body and notice how it allows you to move through the world and accomplish goals so that you shift from obsessing over perceived flaws to feeling gratitude for your health, your well-being, and your strength. Let’s transition into some practical strategies for building overall self-confidence.
First, I suggest making a regular practice of identifying your skills and strengths. One way to do this is to keep a confidence journal and jot down moments when you've succeeded or felt proud of yourself. This journal can become a treasure trove of your accomplishments and achievements and talents.
And looking back at it can serve as a powerful reminder of all that you're capable of. Another thing would be to use positive affirmations and mantras when you catch yourself thinking negatively. If you have these ingrained thinking patterns, the words that you've been saying to yourself have influenced your mindset.
And your mindset shapes your thoughts and feelings. Imagine your mind is a garden, and your thoughts are the seeds that you plant. So positive words, affirmations, are like nurturing sunlight and clean water, helping those seeds grow into more beautiful, empowering beliefs. On the other hand, negative words are like weeds that can choke the potential out of your garden, leading to self-doubt and insecurity.
The way that you talk to yourself directly impacts how you perceive the world around you and how you feel about yourself. So when you cultivate a garden of positive thoughts through mindful language, you're actually cultivating a garden of resilience, self-assurance, and inner strength. Remember, the power of words extends beyond communication - words have the incredible ability to shape your reality and your sense of self. Another thing is, instead of comparing yourself to others, let others success inspire you to believe in your own capabilities. Imagine yourself achieving your goals and radiating self-assurance. This type of mental practice helps cultivate genuine confidence in your real-life endeavors.
And then begin taking small actions, take small risks, expand your comfort zone. Little bit by little bit. Because the more that you're putting yourself out there, the more comfortable you get.
So, by keeping at this, and using some of these methods consistently, you can change how you think about your body. How you think about the skills that you have in your abilities, and this empowers you to operate from a place of confidence. I hope this gives you a starting point for cultivating body acceptance and confidence using mental shifts and practical habits.
Remember, your power comes from within. And you are worthy and incredible exactly as you are right now in this moment. And if you take just one idea from this episode, remember that your body enables you to live and experience all of life's beauty, honor it, nourish it, and appreciate all that it allows you to achieve.
Wishing you the confidence to boost your midlife mojo by embracing your gifts and living boldly. Thank you for listening. Follow Midlife Mojo and connect with me on Instagram at Lisa Dupree coaching to continue the conversation. Bye for now.