How to Overcome People-Pleasing Eating Habits: Balance Seeker Archetype Explained [Ep 71]

In this episode of Midlife Mojo, Lisa explores the Balance Seeker, one of the five weight-loss archetypes from her signature Weight Loss Archetype Quiz. This archetype shows up in people who deeply value responsibility and caring while often leading them to finish everything on their plate, follow rigid mealtime rules, and eat to avoid waste or disappointment. While these intentions come from a good place, they can override hunger and fullness cues, resulting in frustration, guilt, and eating patterns that are out of alignment with health goals.

Lisa shares common ways this archetype appears in daily life, explains why these patterns aren’t a lack of willpower, and walks through coaching strategies that help you reconnect with your body and set healthier boundaries. From portion awareness to reducing food-waste anxiety, she empowers listeners to honor both their values and their wellbeing. If you resonate with the Balance Seeker tendencies, you’ll walk away with a deeper understanding of yourself and actionable steps toward more confident, aligned choices around food.

Key takeaways from this episode include:

• How early messaging around eating and being polite can turn into people-pleasing habits that override your body’s signals.
• Why these patterns are learned behaviors (not a lack of willpower), and how they can impact weight loss and body transformation.
• Practical ways to reconnect with your hunger and fullness cues so you can  eat with confidence and less guilt.
• How reframing self-care as responsibility helps you set boundaries, reduce food-related anxiety, and make choices aligned with your goals.

Resources Mentioned

• Take the Weight-Loss Archetype Quiz: lisadupreecoaching.com/quiz
• Book a Free Strategy Session: lisadupreecoaching.com/getcoached

About the Host
Lisa DuPree is a health coach specializing in midlife weight-loss and mindset.  She helps women transform their relationship with food, reconnect with their bodies, and create sustainable habits rooted in self-trust and empowerment. Through her coaching, quiz, and practical frameworks, she guides clients toward reshaping behaviors that were learned long ago so they can finally step into lasting, aligned wellness.

Thanks for listening!

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Transcript

Lisa DuPree: [00:00:00] Hello. Hello, I'm Lisa. Welcome back to Midlife Mojo, and if you're just finding the podcast, I'm so glad you're here today. We're diving into a mindset that might sound familiar. If you've ever felt like you have to finish everything on your plate or that you keep eating even when you're feeling a little bit full.

This is the Balance Seeker archetype. It's one of the five weight loss archetypes for my quiz. If you haven't taken that quiz, it takes just a few minutes and it will help you discover your archetype and the strategies that work better for you. You can find it@lisaduprecoaching.com slash quiz, and the link is included in the show notes as well.

So back to the balance seeker archetype. people who resonate with this archetype are often guided by a deep sense of responsibility and caring. And this shows up around food and eating as being a member of the Clean Plate Club, following strict meal schedules or [00:01:00] eating because of expectation or to please others.

While these habits come from conscientiousness and caring, they can quietly get in the way of you reaching your health goals and your body transformation goals. So what does a balance seeker look like in everyday life?

So, as a balance seeker, um, things that show up typically are like finishing everything on your plate, even when you were full, because as a kid you were taught to, you know, quote unquote clean your plate. I know one of my parents' personal favorites when I was a kid was saying, you know, there are starving children in China that would be thrilled to have your dinner.

So you are gonna sit there until you eat every bit of it. And so, I remember this so very clearly, like being a, a little kid and me and my brother just sitting at the table, staring at beets on our plate. They tasted like dirt to me.

And I, had to sit there [00:02:00] until I ate them. And so, you know, this was something that I really resisted. I remember crying and just like being defiant and sitting there for a, hour after dinner time. But at some point, you know, you, your kid, you wanna get up, you wanna play, you wanna do stuff. You don't wanna sit there and stare at beats on a plate and.

You know, I just gave in, right? And so at this point, it just really starts being a learned behavior. It's ingrained. It's like, okay, whatever you put on your plate, like for me to be able to just get this done and like eat, you are not really eating out of pleasure in some ways. You're just eating to, to clean your plate and get up and do something else, right?

And this starts pretty early for some people. It also can manifest in kind of cringing at the thought of throwing away perfectly good food. , Eating everything that is served to you to avoid waste, or eating a few bites off of other people's plates when they're done eating so it doesn't get tossed in the trash.

I used to do this all the time. When [00:03:00] my daughter was little, I ate. Way more chicken fingers than I should have, or probably even wanted to because there was like one, one and a half on her plate. It was really just too little to save for another meal, but it was too much to toss in the trash and I just was like, oh, I'll just eat it.

I didn't really necessarily want it. Don't really love chicken fingers, but you know, they didn't want it to go to waste. It can also look like having dessert. Because everyone else is ordering dessert or eating at social events, just to be polite and go along with the crowd, to kind of meet the expectation.

Another thing is, uh, sticking rigidly to mealtimes and eating even when you are not hungry, just because it's lunchtime and it's noon, or it's six 30 or seven and it's dinner time. These eating habits are often rooted in important rituals and values like responsibility, care, respect, connection, but they can also [00:04:00] override your body's natural signals of hunger and fullness. And while these choices feel like right choices in the moment, they can really leave you feeling overly full, frustrated and disconnected from your own needs.

For these reasons. Balance seekers often feel guilt or anxiety around food. Things like, I can't let this go to waste, or It's rude not to finish what someone else has made for me and serve to me. Those things override your body's own signals and even your best intentions.

 You might struggle to recognize fullness. You might feel frustrated by your own people pleasing tendencies after the fact. And even wonder, you know, when is it actually okay to stop eating? And this isn't, it isn't laziness. It's not a weakness, it's not lack of motivation, it's not lack of willpower.

It is literally none of those things. It is a series of [00:05:00] patterns that have been learned over a lifetime. And a lot of those times it started when we were really young and has just been ingrained. It just becomes subconscious. We don't necessarily think about it in the moment.

And when it comes to weight loss, these habits, these ingrained patterns can keep you stuck because you, you end up prioritizing others' needs and others' expectations above your own.

And this is where coaching comes in. When I work with someone who is in this balance seeker archetype or has some of these patterns, we really take care to reframe. Self-care as responsibility, and that helps to make the choices that are aligned with their goals much easier. It reduces that friction. You know, things like listening to your body, [00:06:00] stopping eating when you're full.

And then setting realistic and actionable boundaries around food aren't selfish, right? They're really skills that you can develop that allow you to care for yourself while also caring for others. And we might start with hunger and fullness scale practices to help boost awareness and reconnect with the body.

Exercises to affirm your right as a person to stop eating when you're satisfied or when you have decided to. And then practical strategies to manage any food waste, anxiety, like, having smaller portions or strategies for effectively saving leftovers.

We also work on honoring your values and really pulling forth that care and responsibility, not just for others, but for yourself while you're also learning to set boundaries and making food choices that really support your health and [00:07:00] overall body transformation goals. 

If you resonate with a balance seeker archetype, there's a few things to keep top of mind. Caring and responsibility are strengths. They're wonderful, wonderful character strengths, but they shouldn't override your body's own signals and your own goals. Hunger and wellness cues are important guides and tuning in to those and really honoring those are very powerful for our overall health and wellbeing. 

Setting boundaries around food is a skill, and that skill is something that benefits you in every area of your life, not just in your weight loss journey. When you can set the boundaries around food, you honor yourself, you make aligned choices, you show up differently, and then that impacts other areas of your life. And then reframing waste is honoring your body, [00:08:00] really allows you to make those empowered choices without guilt. If you're ready to stop the people pleasing around food. And start listening to your body with confidence, I invite you to take my archetype quiz. It will help you discover your patterns and the strategies that work best for your personality and lifestyle.

And you can take that quiz at lisadupreecoaching.com/quiz. I'll drop a link in the show notes so it's easy to just go click on that and get to the quiz. If you want more personalized guidance, you can schedule a free strategy session with me, and that's where we'll dive into your habits patterns and create a plan that really honors your values while helping you reach your goals.

I'll also put a link to my website in the show notes that takes you directly to that information. Remember, knowing your patterns is power, and with the right tools, you can make choices that honor both your heart and your body. As always, thanks for listening to Midlife Mojo. Until next time, get [00:09:00] out there and keep your mojo rising.