Simple Ways to Rekindle and Boost Motivation [Ep 15]

In this episode of Midlife Mojo, Lisa talks about ideas and inspiration for you to rekindle and boost motivation if yours has waned or has gone on a full-on hiatus.  

Shared in this episode:

1. Heart-Centered and Head-Centered Approaches
2. Three Why’s Exercise to quickly re-connect your goal to what you desire. - Free Downloadable Goal Worksheet with the steps for this exercise. 
3. Reframing Tasks and Actions to Boost Intrinsic Motivation
4. How to Re-kindle Motivation with B- Effort

Interested in getting additional support to achieve your goals, increasing your motivation?  Lisa has a couple of spots open for private, one-on-one coaching!

Private Coaching Options: https://www.lisadupreecoaching.com/services
Application for free strategy session: https://lisadupree.squarespace.com/getcoached

Thanks for listening!

🎉 Free Resources 🎉

Jumpstart Checklist - Download the checklist and jumpstart your journey to a fitter, stronger, more confident and happier you. Get it here!

To help you set positive, motivating goals you are excited about, get this free Goal Setting for Success Worksheet.

Transcript

In this episode of Midlife Mojo, I’ll be concentrating on ideas and inspiration for you to rekindle and boost motivation if yours has waned or has gone on a full-on hiatus.  

Hello, hello!  As I am recording this, we are over one month into the new year!  How are you doing with your current goals?  Are you making slow, steady progress or has it been a bit of stop and go?  Whatever it looks like for you, staying motivated and generating self-motivation is important for consistency since most goals and outcomes we are working toward take time and effort before you see tangible results. 

I like to think about motivation as desire. Motivation is something that builds because we want a change or we have a desire for something to be different. It could be a behavior, thought patterns, feelings, something in our physical environment, or in our relationships.

Some days, motivation may be very low or not there at all and some days it’s through the roof!  This is normal!  One of the things that people who have successfully changed lifestyle related habits and behaviors do that has helped them stay with it is that they stay consistent by self-motivating.  

Motivation exists on a continuum from Amotivated (or not motivated) to Extrinsically motivated (motivated by external factors outside of yourself like earning a reward, getting approval from others or avoiding punishment or negative outcome) to Intrinsically motivated (being motivated because it's personally rewarding to you, meaning you get personal satisfaction or enjoyment). Being self-motivated ties into the intrinsic end of the continuum.

As an example, a client of mine, a woman in her 50’s, a non-exerciser, never been into exercise. For the last couple of years, her doctor had been saying that she needed to exercise to get healthy.  She was amotivated, definitely not self-motivated to start exercising. She sought out health coaching support when her daughter told her she was going to be a grandmother.  Her daughter wanted her to come and stay for several weeks when the baby was born to help out.  That was a strong external motivator - she had an extrinsic motivation now. So she sets a goal to get in better shape by walking and going to the gym.  Now, in the beginning, she would only go to the gym or out for a walk when her friends dragged her (still extrinsic and not self-motivated). But after about 3 months, she realized she liked the way exercise made her feel - she had more energy, felt mood swings less intensely and was sleeping better. Now she goes to the gym on her own, and is training for a 5k event. She has moved along the motivation continuum and tapped into her intrinsic motivators and is more self-motivated.

Building intrinsic motivation is ideal for consistency and building positive lifestyle habits. However, it can be very helpful to have and look for extrinsic motivators to get started, but extrinsic motivation isn’t usually as strong and sustainable as being intrinsically self-motivated.  

One thing that can help highlight intrinsic value and boost self-motivation is shifting from a predominately head centered approach to a more heart centered approach.  A head centered approach involves thinking, logic, data. It’s more process oriented. Think of it as the “How” for your goal, the planning and action steps to get there. A heart-centered approach is more of an emotional or feeling approach. It calls forth purpose and aligns with core values and priorities. 

A useful heart-centered strategy is to revisit your purpose and your “why” for the goal you are working toward by taking a few moments every week or so to check-in with yourself and reflect on the value of the outcome you are hoping for when you have accomplished your goal. 

One way to go do this and go a little deeper is to ask yourself three why’s for your goal. It’s like peeling an onion. You may get some tears a few layers in and that is good - you’ve connected with something that has moved you, that is deeply important to you. 

Here’s how it works. Take a moment to sit down and you're thinking about your goal. What you want to do is kind of focus in on that “why”. What is your why for this goal? What is the value and the meaning of the outcome that you're going to get?  Once you've got that in mind, ask yourself why again. Why do you want that and then follow up with “what does that give you?” so you're going a little bit deeper. Then the third why. Why do you want that? What does that give you? The same two questions - why do you want that and what does it give you. Thinking about what this goal, once you've achieved, it will allow you to do or feel, what it will allow you to be or have that you desire that you don't have now. It's a really simple but powerful way to go a bit deeper. It'll help you quickly get clear, get focused and more motivated to continue to work on your goal and stay consistent with that goal. I have a free downloadable worksheet that walks you step by step through this process.  I’ll put the link to it in the show notes. 

When you have clarified your “why”, try re-framing the tasks or actions for your goal from something you have to do-an obligation, to something you get to do.  This shift in thinking helps tap into intrinsic motivation. Doing something for its own sake and for your own purposes is going to always going to be more fulfilling, enjoyable, and self-motivating than doing something for external rewards or to please others. If the small tasks and choices needed to make progress on your goal are more enjoyable and something you can readily see the value in - the more likely it is that you are going to take the needed action and eventually be successful. 

Doing this in conjunction with using a logical, head centered approach is helpful to keep the actions you need to take to get the outcome you are striving for top of mind. Using reminders in your phone, sticky notes, blocking out time in your schedule, and getting support for accountability are all useful strategies to help stay on track when motivation is low.  

Another way to help you keep moving forward when your motivation is lacking is to do B- work. This is sooo hard for me to say as someone who has been in academia and teaching undergraduate health for 12+ years!  It’s been even harder for me to put into practice, and I for sure wouldn't be suggesting B- effort if it wasn’t helpful.

Doing B- work is about keeping up momentum, building a habit, even when motivation is tanking.  It’s doing something, anything, to keep going.  Don’t stress that it’s not 100% or A+.  Don’t give up if your efforts aren’t perfect or right on plan.  

This is something I have had to work on for the past month or so out of necessity. Oh, wait, let me re-frame that - this is a tactic I have had the opportunity to try out due to an injury.  My family and I went on vacation in December to the Cayman Islands - I’d never been before and it was wonderful - My daughter found this super cool gym near where we were staying. You know if you've been listening to the podcast that I've had the goal of building muscle for a while now and I am finally making visible progress.  So we went to get a workout in and I wanted to show my daughter this exercise that I had just tried out. As I reached over the machine, I felt a crunch in my ribcage. It hurt so bad, it was intensely painful.  I went to the doctor, got x-rays and turns out I had a pretty bad injury where the cartilage and rib come together. It was hard to breathe, it hurt to move - there was no twisting - bending - lifting or anything that was going to happen for a while.  The doctor said “it's going to take 6-8 weeks to heal and do what you can, walking was okay”. I'm thinking “well crap, I can barely get a deep breath without grimacing, I can't do anything!”  My motivation to exercise was gone. I was thinking, if I can't work out like I have been, if I can't do it full tilt, can't go 100%, why bother? It's just not worth it.  

So this was my opportunity to shift what progress at this point was going to look like.  I didn't want to just completely press the pause button if there was something that I could do,  even just coast and not lose the progress I’ve already made. This is where I had to really embrace the idea of imperfect action, not doing my workouts at that 100% -  A+ level.  I was like if I do something,  it was going to be at a B- level.  The key is that I kept up some semblance of a routine. I was able to walk even though I didn’t want to and didn’t enjoy it and I needed to do breathing exercises so I didn't get an infection or subsequent problems with my lungs so I just chose to focus on those.  I added light stretching when I could and then every week added a little bit as things were healing.  It wasn’t perfection but more so it was about not completely giving up the habits and routines that I had already established. I wasn't able to do the same things but I was able to do something. 

This B- effort is going to look different for everyone!  For someone with a goal to have less stress by practicing meditation and yoga 3 days a week for 30 minutes, if some weeks that seems impossible because of a crazy work schedule, B- work could be doing 10 minutes of stretching mid-day or practicing a 5 minute meditation before going to bed.  For someone with a goal of losing weight by preparing their lunch instead of eating out during the work week and they are getting bored with eating the same things and losing motivation to continue with their goal, B- effort could be shooting for 2 or 3 days a week of preparing lunch while researching and finding easy recipes that they’d like to try to keep boredom from creeping in or they could explore getting one of the services that send prepped meals to you each week in a box.  Those take less time, there are no grocery store trips and you still have control over the ingredients and portion sizes. 

So this is about creatively thinking “what can I do?”, “what is one small step that I can do?”  When obstacles come up or your motivation is waning, I invite you to consider - What is one small thing that you can do?  

What is something that is not too heavy of a lift that I can do to stay in a positive mindset and if not fully moving forward, just not go backwards. 

All right! In this episode I covered a few things that I hope can get you thinking, give you some inspiration for ideas to try.  It's really about reconnecting with your why to boost intrinsic motivation. Noticing your extrinsic motivators to help you get back on track. Embracing imperfect action with B- effort and noticing and reframing thoughts when your motivation is lessening. 

I'd love to know if you try any of these and what strategies have worked for you to stay motivated. You can find me on Instagram at Lisa Dupree coaching and If you are interested in getting additional support and boosting motivation to achieve your goals, I have a couple of spots open for private, one-on-one coaching.  Visit lisadupreecoaching.com/services for coaching options and contact links or complete the application for a free strategy session at lisadupreecoaching.com/getcoached.  Links will also be in the show notes.

Thanks for listening - Bye for now!

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Free Downloadable Worksheet: Three Why’s Exercise (Goal Setting for Success Worksheet)

Private Coaching Options:https://www.lisadupreecoaching.com/services

Application for free strategy session: https://lisadupree.squarespace.com/getcoached